Crazy Critters is a private family-owned and operated farm in the Lockyer Valley, Queensland.

About an hour West of Brisbane give or take a minor traffic inconvenience or three.

We’re open 9:30am to 3:00pm Monday to Friday.

Closed Weekends, Public Holidays and basically any national emergency worth mentioning.

Our phones work (mostly).

We even answer them occasionally.

Our office is unattended, so leave a voicemail and we’ll get to it between critters and farm chores.

Email is best—we can reply while wrangling critters.

Phones? Not so much.

Best to send emails to: info@crazycritters.com.au

Name, contact info, order number (if you have one)… the usual stuff.

Otherwise we can’t do anything but stare. And sigh.

We love questions, but if it’s covered on the FAQ, we probably won’t respond...

We’re too busy keeping critters alive and chaos at bay to repeat ourselves.

We reply as quickly as critters and farm chores allow.

Within 48 hours… probably.

Before contacting us, try our FAQ page. It knows things.

That’s all we had for this week. It means no more stock, no exceptions, no crying.

We can’t take any more orders, no matter how persistent you are.

We update the website at the end of each week (around Thursday-ish) to reflect what we actually have to sell.

Yes, we count.

Product availability depends on demand.

Sometimes our products disappear faster than our sanity on a busy farm day.

Enter your email on the product page to get notified when it’s restocked.

Or keep checking obsessively… your choice.

Our subscription service exists to make sure our regulars don’t miss out.

Patience is overrated anyway.

Want your interstate order this week? Get it in by 9:00pm Monday.

After that, it’s a waiting game.

Want your Queensland order this week? Get it in by 9:00pm Tuesday.

After that, you’ll have time to practice patience.

Late orders? We’ll do our best, but no promises.

It depends on critters, farm chores and our sanity on the given day.

We accept Visa, Mastercard, PayPal... we’re flexible, as long as it actually lands in our account.

Basically, anything except an I.O.U.

Every order comes with a tax invoice.

It can also be downloaded from the order confirmation email—because paperwork is inevitable.

Interstate orders: sent Tuesday.

Queensland orders: sent Tuesday & Wednesday.

The rest of the week is pure critter chaos.

Orders in before cut-off? Shipped this week.

Latecomers join the next week’s shipping shenanigans.

Our next-day dispatch only applies to orders placed before the cut-off…

Because, again, we only ship on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Don’t get too excited—express shipping is about delivery speed, not our shipping schedule.

Orders still only get sent Tuesday and Wednesday.

You’ll get an email.

Because we’re helpful like that.

Maybe you missed the cut-off... or

Maybe there’s a heatwave... or

Maybe the critters staged a revolt.

Want to stalk your order?

Use the tracking number in your shipping confirmation email on the Australia Post website.

We won’t judge.

Large orders may be sent in multiple boxes.

We do it to keep your critters cool and your shipping costs slightly less terrifying.

Your boxes might arrive separately.

Different days, different times…

[every box has a tracking number]

Australia Post gives estimated delivery dates.

Please check them before emailing us about an undelivered order.

If you can, please have an actual human available to accept your delivery.

Our Live Guarantee doesn’t cover abandoned insects... they don’t survive on hope alone.

No one around?

Your order might be tucked somewhere safe or taken back to the post office.

Weather: molten?

Shipping: delayed.

Why? Critters overheat faster than emails can be ignored. Safety first.

Shipping day? Sure — we’ll try.

Any other day? Not happening. Not even if you really, really need it.

We don’t do collections at the farm.

Quarantine, critters, and common sense all say: stay home.

We usually stock Redmond’s Pet & Livestock Supplies in Gatton.

Local, convenient, and avoids the unnecessary postal detour to Brisbane.

It means we promise to send you actual living insects.

And yes, we even guarantee* they’ll arrive at your door alive.

*T&C’s apply, because apparently that needs saying.

We pull out all the stops to make sure your critters survive the postal madness.

The exact methods? Read our ‘100% Live Guarantee’ policy… if you dare.

Yes, it’s a link. Yes, you have to click it yourself.

We try really hard… but some things are just out of our hands.

Like postal chaos, rogue critters, and the occasional bad luck that shows up uninvited.

We do our part: labels, warnings, instructions.

Box left in a safe place? We call that an unattended delivery.

That’s one of those pesky limitations we mentioned and the Live Guarantee won’t cover it.

We won’t ship if it’s too hot on our farm—but your local sun-baked mailbox? Beyond our control.

This falls squarely under ‘limitations,’ so the Live Guarantee won’t cover it.

Please, for the love of critters, think about your local weather before ordering.

Special request? Email us. We’ll try… maybe. (Depends on how ridiculous your demands are.)

Ignore our advice? Live Guarantee disappears faster than you can say ‘oops’.

We only know if you tell us. No, venting on social media doesn’t count.

Something wrong with your critters? Fill out a ‘Live Guarantee Claim’.

Something missing? Send us an email.

It’s a revolutionary concept, we know.

Submit the form within 24 hours.

Photo required—because we can’t see through boxes.

All claims are assessed against our ‘100% Live Guarantee’ policy.

We like rules. Especially our own rules.

Outcome pending.

We’ll try to sort it ASAP—but remember, critters don’t feed themselves.

Usually, we’ll refund the product price.

Shipping? Not so much.

Anything beyond that? Up to us, obviously.

You can ask. We might even say yes—if stock allows.

Shipping? That’s on you.

Claim after 24 hours?

Photo doesn’t scream ‘substantial loss’?

Mailbox hotter than the sun?


Our ‘100% Live Guarantee’ is not a suggestion.

We actually follow our own rules—shock horror.

A customer account lets you see your past orders, update your info, manage subscriptions… all from the comfort of not calling us.

Top-right, little person icon. ‘Create Account.’ Enter your info. Click. Done.

You’re officially one of the Crazies. Welcome.

Check your inbox. Verify your email.

Then you can log in and start obsessing over your critters.

Can’t log in? Probably typed something wrong.

Try again.

Still no luck?

Click ‘Forgot My Password’ and reset it. Even us Crazies forget stuff sometimes.

Trying to reset a password for a customer account that doesn’t exist.

Oops—not gonna happen.

Make an account first, join the Crazies, then try again.

Easy.

Log in, ‘View Addresses,’ update. Done.

A simple, convenient set and forget ordering process.

A priority order you set once—weekly, fortnightly, or monthly—and then forget about it.

The payment quietly charges your bank card on schedule. No reminders, no awkward ‘oops I forgot’ moments. It just handles itself.

Never run out of your favourites again.

Set up a recurring order, and they’ll show up on your doorstep like clockwork—no panic, no sold-out signs, just pure, uninterrupted joy.

If a product is eligible for recurring orders, you’ll see two choices on the page: buy once, or recurring order—aka your personal ‘never run out’ plan.

Choose your order frequency, add to cart, and pay as usual.

Easy, done.

Your recurring order is officially in motion.

Starting recurring orders only work on things we actually have.

Sold out? You’ll have to wait until stock returns.

Create a customer account so you can edit your recurring order anytime.

Managing Subscriptions’ page: because we know you’d rather be doing literally anything else than figuring out the account portal.

Sure, but one recurring order = one schedule.

So, you’ll have to create extra orders; it’s like juggling, but easier.

No fees. No minimums. No guilt. Cancel anytime.

Recurring orders aren’t about discounts—they’re about pure, uninterrupted convenience.

Set it up once, and we’ll keep your favourites coming, hassle-free.

If it’s important, it’s on the ‘Announcements’ page.

We put things there on purpose.

Read the Shipping Policy here.

Or scroll to the bottom of the website—we hid it in plain sight.

Read the 100% Live Guarantee for all the rules, exceptions, and hard truths.

Critters not crittering? There’s a form for that.

It’s called the Live Guarantee Claim Form.

Other important stuff? It lives at the bottom of the website.

Scroll responsibly.

Our blog “Critter Corner” might help—no promises. It’s somewhat educational, mildly unhinged, and not very serious.

Or you could email us.