Welcome to our Facebook competition, where dreams are made up and your odds are… well… character-building.

By participating, you agree to the following completely reasonable and not-at-all sarcastic terms:

1. Eligibility

Open to humans aged 18+

Void where prohibited, frowned upon, or judged harshly by your group chat.

2. The Prize

The prize is amazing. Truly. Life-changing, even.

(Actual prize may vary between “pretty cool” and “you’ll politely say thanks.”)

No cash alternative, no swaps, no “can I just get the money instead?” messages.

3. Winner Selection

Winner will be chosen based on a highly sophisticated process involving a random name generator.

The decision is final.

4. Notification

The winner will be announced publicly and contacted via DM.

If you don’t reply within 48 hours, we will assume you’ve moved to a remote island to start a new life and will pick someone else.

5. Responsibilities of the Winner

You must:

A. respond like a normal human

B. not ask “is this legit?” (we’re trying our best here)

C. provide details without sending your entire life story

6. Disqualification

We reserve the right to disqualify anyone who:

A. spams entries like it’s 2009

B. tags celebrities who clearly won’t respond

C. uses fake accounts named things like “John Definitely Real”

7. Liability

We are not responsible for:

A. hurt feelings

B. over-enthusiastic competitiveness

C. friends annoyed at being tagged repeatedly

8. Facebook Stuff

This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by, or associated with Facebook.

(We’re just existing on their platform.)

9. Final Notes

Have fun, don’t take it too seriously, and remember: it’s just a competition…

but also we really hope you engage with our content.